welcome to my world

So I've been reading and writing a lot recently. Because it's been nice weather, I've taken to strolling down to the river, sitting on a bench and reading my book. Which has been good as it means I've finally got more than a quarter of a way through, and I'm no longer as white as a lump of snow.

Starting to think that its not good for me right now. I think too much and all these random thoughts going round in my head aren't being helped much by that. I'm going to be busy next week though. And tired. So we'll see.

So I've written a note to my ex today:

"So I've been thinking about the message you sent the other day. Maybe I was being a bit harsh in not talking to you. I've moved on from everything and am happy. You contacting me out of the blue wasn't very fair - not in the light of everything.

So I no longer have your number (hence the email) but if you feel that you finally have the courage to actually give me an explanation for everything (cos lets face it you never made it easy on me, and no excuses please, you're meant to be a grown man) then you can. I don't want to go over old ground and cannot guarantee how I will react, but you sounded like you needed to get something off your chest.

Maybe its wrong of me to be contacting you. And maybe you should never have contacted me. But maybe you need to do some redeeming and maybe I shouldn't deny you of that."

I haven't sent it. I really want to. But part of me is screaming no, let things be. Sigh....