Mr H asked me if I'd ever asked myself the question. He was sitting opposite me at the table, eating the food he'd bought us. I told him I was a social drinker. He said you only get social smokers. I told him I didn't agree. I don't wake up needing a drink. I rarely drink at home. When I go out I only have two or three drinks at most. It just happened that the rare times we'd talked about it I'd been out on a celebration the night before. That and the fact that he drinks way more than he thinks he should - and would never admit it. Maybe he was projecting himself onto me. I went along with it just so I could spend time talking to him. I still have that niggling thought in the back of my mind...
In light of recent events, I decided to not get drunk for a while. Not only was there the incident with the Other One but in a recent fit of despair I called up Buddy. He lives down the road. We went to the local. I ended up telling him about what happened with the ex, despite not wanting to. I liked the fact that Buddy didn't know him, never met him, never would, didn't know of his existence apart from sweeping comments in passing conversations. But the ex was on my mind. Foremost for contacting me out of the blue. He said he wanted to talk - I told him where to get lost. Politely though. I knew that would annoy him more than me providing some sort of emotional response.
I didn't project any of this onto Buddy though. We had a great night. Chatted until they chucked us out. Mainly about the usual, though we did discover some new things that we have in common. We agreed to see a film in few weeks. I like Buddy. He's so witty and lighthearted about everything. He makes things seem simple and uncomplicated. There's more than meets the eye with that one I'm sure, but I enjoy the easiness at which we interact. I wish I fancied him...
We parted ways on the hill, despite me hinting heavily that we should carry on drinking for no other reason than we could. And we'd had fun. We don't live more than five minutes from each other, yet we have yet to visit each other's places. I find this odd. And yet it's just another thing about Buddy that I like. He keeps himself guarded and rewards me occasionally when I break through his barriers. I can't help thinking that part of me might be disappointed if I ever got a full showing of the 'real buddy show'.
As I left Bud in search of home I happened across another gentleman. Young, cute and slighty odd set of clothes. I was merry, what can I say. I didn't mean to start talking to him, and ordinarily I probably shouldn't. But he was nice, made sure I got home, and surprisingly we had a lot in common for someone I'd just met in the street late at night...
It was this that made me stop going to the pub. The Other One told me it's my holiday - I'm allowed to drink. I just felt like I was being too promiscuous, by my standards anyway, whatever they are. I didn't tell him that. I thought things would get either better or worse after the incident. But the fact that it's just stayed the same tells me more than he has ever been willing to give.
So with Mr H in the background, The Other One will soon fade I'm sure, and I've got a date tonight with Possible A. Not sure what's going to happen. Not sure I want anything to. Feel like I should get back on the drink again. Like I said I feel weird.
