So in the light of day you'd think things might be clearer. They are. And they're not.
The ex boss, Mr H, I've come to decide is not a possibilty in the dating stakes. Not this side of new year anyway. I love him, deeply, but as a friend, whom I miss greatly. And yet I still can't bring myself to call him to let him know... I hate my stubborness sometimes...
So that brings me to the other dilema. The Other One. Also an ex colleague (I'm starting to see a pattern here, which I don't like. And to think I once had a policy about dating people I work with. It also makes it sound like I don't have a life outside of work which simply isn't true...)
Anyway there's always been a spark between me and the other one. But due to complications, it has never happened. Just when I thought something was going to happen, it didn't and I was back to thinking he just didn't understand. I was dropping hints left right and centre. I didn't think I could be anymore obvious by inviting him over and telling him the flatmates were away... He never came round. Stupid man.
I came to a decision a few weeks ago. Enough was enough. I won't entertain his games anymore. I was fed up of the chase - it wasn't exciting and it certainly hadn't got us anywhere. Besides my work rule came into force and considering he wasn't making a move I decided to call it quits.
That only seemed to make things worse in a way. I stopped contacting him un-necessarily and yet maybe he thought I was playing hard to get. He just kept contacting me.
Things finally came to head, as I thought they would at some point or other, at a work function. We both got incredibly drunk... I know that sounds bad but we didn't go there. It just gave us an excuse to finally get some of that sexual tension out of the way. I thank God that no one at work has the faintest idea.
Anyway he was the perfect gentleman and not the least bit selfish. It was all about me, he said. I felt adored. No man has ever wanted to give me so much before... It's a bit overwhelming. And yet I feel strangely content about it all. Nothing untoward happened. We had fun. We enjoyed ourselves.
And now? Nothing. He still contacts me. I merely respond back in my normal fashion. I mention the fact that we can't talk about anything important unless we are drunk. He tells me work sucks without me and yet he's still thinking about leaving the country and heading out to his place in the sun. I can stay in his spare room apparently...
So I have a few dates this week. Neither guy is remotely connected to work - current or old. Kind of intrigued. Kind of not bothered. I need a distraction. Where is my kinght in shining armour when I need him?
